i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think my vagina is haunted
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
