Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
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didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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