there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
