So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
