I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
