we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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