I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Non-Jews are for practice
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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