Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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