He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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