Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
