I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
