Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
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