At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came