Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂