Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case

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  (206): I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case http://tfl.nu/pt7p
  Replies (20) Good night (3071) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.

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  (415): If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition. http://tfl.nu/fwuo
  Replies (13) Good night (10047) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?

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  (617): WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL? http://tfl.nu/2onf
  Replies (17) Good night (5347) Bad night (1517)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.

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  (561): Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game. http://tfl.nu/593t
  Replies (28) Good night (893) Bad night (5459)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.

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  (814): I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone. http://tfl.nu/qodf
  Replies (2) Good night (2308) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit

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  (515): Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit http://tfl.nu/4m5n
  Replies (4) Good night (785) Bad night (2339)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I have no recollection of sleep choking you

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  (860): I have no recollection of sleep choking you http://tfl.nu/6fhf
  Replies (8) Good night (1670) Bad night (2312)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY

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  (609): These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY http://tfl.nu/f90k
  Replies (12) Good night (957) Bad night (2544)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?

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  (913): Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying? http://tfl.nu/uitc
  Replies (7) Good night (943) Bad night (1858)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.

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  (480): This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love. http://tfl.nu/h8jg
  Replies (9) Good night (1469) Bad night (1804)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"

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  (714): you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle" http://tfl.nu/ec60
  Replies (4) Good night (2042) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  "drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..

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  (419): "drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again.. http://tfl.nu/1sfp
  Replies (4) Good night (1408) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.

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  (520): I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013. http://tfl.nu/sp2x
  Replies (2) Good night (851) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless

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  (860): The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless http://tfl.nu/aa5s
  Replies (9) Good night (2593) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Good decision.

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  (817): I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things (832): Good decision. http://tfl.nu/tpjd
  Replies (0) Good night (589) Bad night (395)

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