Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did