why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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