Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.