but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize