I wanna passion pit in your ass
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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