she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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