We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
