well you can't waste a boner
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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