Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
