Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
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repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
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Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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