you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
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