just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
