hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
