bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
