i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
