He disabled his match.com account in front of me
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
