I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
