Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
