it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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