My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?