Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey

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  (607): It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit. (1-607): I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey http://tfl.nu/q7g1
  Replies (16) Good night (2746) Bad night (684)
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  (516): View more from New York

  until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life

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  (516): until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life http://tfl.nu/jc1p
  Replies (13) Good night (3689) Bad night (1135)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.

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  (252): so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream. http://tfl.nu/3wg7
  Replies (6) Good night (4065) Bad night (736)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.

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  (608): I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina. http://tfl.nu/zhac
  Replies (5) Good night (892) Bad night (2993)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.

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  (319): Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really. http://tfl.nu/ok73
  Replies (11) Good night (3551) Bad night (1094)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.

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  (440): yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything. http://tfl.nu/2obm
  Replies (3) Good night (2969) Bad night (759)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Ps I am

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  (440): Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now (440): Ps I am http://tfl.nu/ow38
  Replies (8) Good night (2194) Bad night (528)
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  (415): View more from California

  You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women

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  (415): You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women http://tfl.nu/rghq
  Replies (2) Good night (689) Bad night (509)
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.

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  (234): For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well. http://tfl.nu/1g4h
  Replies (4) Good night (416) Bad night (849)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time

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  (302): Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time http://tfl.nu/xi83
  Replies (0) Good night (1017) Bad night (344)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Pants off. Spirits lifted.

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  (253): Pants off. Spirits lifted. http://tfl.nu/wzml
  Replies (2) Good night (927) Bad night (300)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.

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  (207): It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night. http://tfl.nu/zq29
  Replies (1) Good night (739) Bad night (288)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame

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  (303): Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame http://tfl.nu/4ytk
  Replies (1) Good night (674) Bad night (330)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole

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  (206): I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole http://tfl.nu/tvcl
  Replies (2) Good night (682) Bad night (307)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  We're going to party like we don't have spanx on

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  (517): We're going to party like we don't have spanx on http://tfl.nu/7l0f
  Replies (0) Good night (560) Bad night (448)

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