Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool

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  (717): i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool http://tfl.nu/o66k
  Replies (2) Good night (852) Bad night (885)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight

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  (303): I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight http://tfl.nu/nfvu
  Replies (50) Good night (13150) Bad night (1579)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.

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  (812): My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too. http://tfl.nu/4mju
  Replies (98) Good night (3853) Bad night (9164)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...

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  (903): I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth... http://tfl.nu/u93t
  Replies (7) Good night (2500) Bad night (1075)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....

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  (517): Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school.... http://tfl.nu/i9vj
  Replies (15) Good night (5614) Bad night (955)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.

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  (715): I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it. http://tfl.nu/u4wc
  Replies (15) Good night (3479) Bad night (889)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.

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  (314): This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem. http://tfl.nu/8m5o
  Replies (15) Good night (972) Bad night (2260)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.

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  (509): As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. http://tfl.nu/wazh
  Replies (5) Good night (1300) Bad night (643)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You dont lie about slip and slides

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  (502): You dont lie about slip and slides http://tfl.nu/1239
  Replies (9) Good night (1749) Bad night (557)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."

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  (603): Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner." http://tfl.nu/q4fy
  Replies (16) Good night (2727) Bad night (611)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina

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  (217): I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina http://tfl.nu/lruw
  Replies (8) Good night (1454) Bad night (676)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.

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  (615): We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably. http://tfl.nu/c0bc
  Replies (3) Good night (1922) Bad night (572)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.

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  (317): Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw. http://tfl.nu/a7sh
  Replies (18) Good night (843) Bad night (1049)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old

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  (713): haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old http://tfl.nu/ipmn
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (349)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.

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  (608): Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver. http://tfl.nu/0dvj
  Replies (1) Good night (319) Bad night (78)

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