Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
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Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.