Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  you for real need to get over him dude

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  (561): he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore. (1-561): you for real need to get over him dude http://tfl.nu/fa43
  Replies (52) Good night (903) Bad night (3154)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.

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  (224): Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night. http://tfl.nu/rq15
  Replies (9) Good night (3528) Bad night (1425) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.

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  (732): I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something. http://tfl.nu/rxn8
  Replies (22) Good night (4034) Bad night (1410) Order T-Shirt
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  It's sore actually

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  (289): I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt. (647): It's sore actually http://tfl.nu/hwsg
  Replies (38) Good night (4066) Bad night (773)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.

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  (320): A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears. http://tfl.nu/pw7m
  Replies (41) Good night (2218) Bad night (5013) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.

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  (415): sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened. http://tfl.nu/mg5e
  Replies (21) Good night (5769) Bad night (1407) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."

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  (404): You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet." http://tfl.nu/ru2n
  Replies (5) Good night (3771) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage

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  (406): He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage http://tfl.nu/22pw
  Replies (8) Good night (3569) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.

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  (918): He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it. http://tfl.nu/hmj1
  Replies (6) Good night (581) Bad night (1861) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection

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  (516): perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection http://tfl.nu/w4cf
  Replies (8) Good night (499) Bad night (1663) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.

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  (507): We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom. http://tfl.nu/ilht
  Replies (7) Good night (1736) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.

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  (770): If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it. http://tfl.nu/yx1o
  Replies (4) Good night (683) Bad night (260) Order T-Shirt
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  (936): View more from Texas

  The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.

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  (936): The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant. http://tfl.nu/br3c
  Replies (7) Good night (895) Bad night (425)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.

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  (920): Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms. http://tfl.nu/5i1h
  Replies (7) Good night (658) Bad night (273)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls

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  (215): i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls http://tfl.nu/liuo
  Replies (5) Good night (524) Bad night (153) Order T-Shirt

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