god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
