The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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