the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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