Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
