Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
