He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
