I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize