Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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