there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
