i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
