What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
