I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
