Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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