i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
its liver damage thursday
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
