He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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