Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
