I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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