So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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