You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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