Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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