I could have mohawked her pubes.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
