like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
