I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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