I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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