I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
