Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
