Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
