do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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