told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
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Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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