Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
